Thursday, June 30, 2005

AJ4A: Worst Page in the Universe

I have nothing for you. My fans have been writing in wanting some AJ, but all my energy is going into the 70 hours a week I give to my place of employment and the 2-5 hours of partying I do seemingly every night. But here's something for you Sports Guy readers: I am the first one to post something on the internet about Dicky Barrett (lead singer, Mighty Mighty Bosstones) doing the voice of the brutish Boston thug character on Bill's weekly internet cartoon. Can I prove it? No. But trust me, listen to the voice and you'll know it's him. You know what else is weird? The fact that I started caring about breasts when I was, say, 11 years old, and here it is 16 years later and I care just as much if not more about them. And you know what? Even though I'm almost 30, seeing breasts is still one of the only things I have to worry about. I mean, it's the only constantly unfulfilled task in my life, along with getting a house and succeeding in my career. Seriously, on a month by month basis the only objectives that my brain is focused on outside of immediate necessities are: go to work, get a house, see some breasts, and stay healthy. Actually, the house thing will come along naturally if I just keep showing up at work, so really we can simplify it to: go to work, stay healthy, try to see breasts. See? Life's not so bad. Just those three little things. Actually I guess the objectives have only changed slightly since 7th grade, only then "show up at work" was "show up at school". Although being a teen was way harder because I had no idea what I was doing and girls were way less willing to take their tops off. Now I find most of them are pretty much ok with it. I love being grown up.

Friday, June 03, 2005

What is the Matter With You.

Savvy web surfers like yourselves may already know of the website they call tired, but if you didn't then you'll be glad I mentioned it. Well, not glad. That's probably too strong. You'll be amused. No, no not that either. You'll be not UNglad; how about that. Yes. Not UNglad that I mentioned tired to you. Anyway I don't have much of a commentary or point to make here, just to say that there are many, many, many websites so chock full of content. So chock full, in fact, that oftentimes I run away from them simply because my eyes are so immediately overwhelmed that I'm incapable of processing any content at all. Why do you think google is so much more popular than anything other web search. Reliable results, yes, but doesn't it feel nice to come home to your nice, clean Google page every now and again? It's like ducking inside an empty room for a moment during a loud Hollywood party. Alright that was a little bit of commentary, back to the subject: here are two websites that only focus on a single, solitary concept. Tired and Crying While Eating Two sites that simply deliver exactly, and only, what the URL suggests. Arguably pointless, yet undeniably elegant.