To the Brown-Haired Lady at My Gym with the Excessive Arm Movements

I understand your need to come to the gym and get a good workout, but seriously, you need to get ahold of yourself. While running on the treadmill last night I noticed you working out on the elliptical machine. You were punching the air erratically and with tremendous emphasis. You were proud of your workout convictions and silently challenged anyone to stare at you. At this point I found you only distracting; it was when you put your fists on your hips and started thrusting your elbows to and fro like a strutting rooster that I nearly stumbled off of my treadmill in front of everyone. Are you even aware that you're in a room full of people? Somebody (other than me) ought to say something to you. Don't you notice the furtive glances directed at you from all corners of the room? Can't you see that you're clearly coloring outside the lines of the normally accepted workout movements? Jesus that is annoying.

Halloween

Better late than never: here is a picture of my Halloween costume (YES I'm the one on the right, you smart-mouthed jackalope). Mouseboy.

Bruins Continue to Disappoint Football Fans All Over the World

Watching UCLA at Stanford today has been one of the single most frustrating spectator experiences of my life. Here's a team with a top fifteen defense, but one of the lowest-ranked offenses in the country. The result is game after game of the defense going three and out, then the offense going three and out. It's like watching a dog chase its tail or something. Just awful. In the culminating play of today's game the Bruins needed to generate approximately three inches of offense in order to keep a tying drive alive, and they couldn't do it. This would typically enrage me to the point of property destruction (my property), but I've been so bored by the game that all I do in response is fall asleep on the couch. I think I'm still shell-shocked from the Miami game. I realized today that I don't think I ever fully recovered.