USC Trojans: Don't respect this paper tiger of a team. Also they might be racists.

A number one ranked team that almost loses every game it plays. Un-freaking believable. That ball going out of bounds on the second to last play seems like the kind of thing that breaks for these guys every single week. Look, I was a believer earlier this season. Josh and I were admitting to each other that the Trojans were men among boys. But I like my #1's to be unstoppable. I like them to walk out of every stadium they play in leaving no question that they're the better team. Instead they go into every game with everyone wondering if this is finally the week their luck runs out. But I still have to give them credit because they haven't lost. I just wish someone would finish the job so I can stop doing that.

Now then, let's talk about credit. First of all, give all of it to Brady Quinn. What a badass that guy is. The Niners should trade Alex Smith, a draft pick, and a couple of cable cars for the right to get him in two years. Second of all, poor Reggie Bush. Every article I read, every mention of USC, it's "Matt Leinart and the USC Trojans." Did you know that Reggie was the team MVP last year? That the Trojans were asked to pick the best guy on their team and it wasn't Leinart? How is it that the best player on the best team finishes 5th in the Heisman voting? Thank you, racist New York sportswriters association. During the 3rd quarter today one of the broadcasters accurately compared Bush to Barrie Sanders, in that he's capable of anything every time he touches the ball. He went on to describe any attempt to tackle him as "Dante's 9 stages of hell." Why isn't Reggie Bush on the cover of ESPN the magazine? Why isn't he an LA celebrity and the talk of the town like Matt? Thank you, Nazi shithead USC athletic department.

So then I switch over to the UCLA game and of course we're losing. Adding insult to injury we've got Petros Papadakis with us as a color guy. Like it's not bad enough that he's a Trojan. The first play I see is a handoff to Maurice Drew. Petros reacts by rhetorically asking Barry Tompkins if he's "ever tried to tackle a bowling ball." He goes on to compare Marcus Everett's 4th quarter touchdown reception to The Catch, only "not really as big of a deal though." He also assures us that nobody's going to throw a gatorade bottle at the Wash St. kicker's head if he misses a 62 yard field goal attempt -- further adding that "maybe if they had that kicker with half a foot from the 60's they'd have a chance at the field goal." I honestly believe Petros thinks he and Barry are just hanging out in that booth together alone, just watching the game without any live microphones nearby.

To review:

USC PR department: racists.
UCLA PR deptartment: of, by, and for all mankind.
Leinart: bum.
Quinn: not the next Joe Montana -- the first Brady Quinn.
Petros: really bad sportscaster. pretty good freestyle rapper.
Jones-Drew: probably isn't a bowling ball.
AJ4A: bad golfer. really bad football player. also not a bowling ball.