How to Watch Seinfeld and Ruin Your Whole Life

I don't know what the TV schedule is like in your city, but here in LA it's custom-made to transform you into a Clockwork Orange-eyed viewer of past Seinfeld episodes at absolutely all hours of the day. Last night it occurred to me that I may have wasted up to 3 or 4 weeks of my life watching the Seinfeld re-runs that air all over the cable channel spectrum every night. On an average weekday evening you can watch a minimum of 2 hours worth of Seinfeld. That's back-to-back episodes from 6:30 to 7:30 on TBS, an episode from 7:30-8 on UPN, and then another UPN episode from 10-10:30. If you're a West Wing fan it's only a short hop to the 11 o'clock hour for Bravo's airing of their nightly WW rerun, afterwhich you've all of sudden officially reached the next day and you're wondering what has become of your life. Wednesday's are when it reaches ludicrous speed. All previously mentioned airings still apply, except now you've got to add in two more "best of" episodes that air from 8-9pm on TBS. That means that you can flick on the tube when you walk in the door from work, tune into Seinfeld at 6:30, and still be watching it when the clock strikes 9. Then there's still the 10pm episode and a West Wing rerun to finish you off if you haven't already committed yourself to eating beer for dinner and just going to bed. I don't even want to imagine what it'd be like if I were unemployed, there's got to be 3 or 4 episodes on during the day as well - and by the way how is it that I'm not unemployed? I've logged hundreds fewer hours practicing my actual profession compared to those spent watching that narcotic of a television show. Hopefully my roommate will read this and stage an intervention.